Positioning One’s Self to the Best Advantage

April 28, 2010

Do other people sleep in such odd positions?

Lately I cannot fall asleep if any one of the following is not in place:

1. Lying flat on my back
2. Two pillows inside one pillow case under my knees
3. My special down pillow (that has three pillow cases on it because it has leaked feathers for the last 5 years) wadded up behind my neck
4. My down blanket folded in half for doubled warmth, tucked under my feet so they have a nice little warming pocket, and tucked around my body, like a mummy
5. My down blanket entirely covering my neck
6. A throw pillow slightly elevating my left shoulder

It occurred to me last night that this would be a nice position in which to die.

They could place pennies over my eyes, like in the olden days, and after enough days have passed to ascertain that I am, indeed, dead, they could lower my body on a gurney out the back window, and set my worldly remains afire on a raft in the Newport Canal.

My sleeping position would also be a nice way to experience chrysalis, I imagine, and no, that is not an illegal drug.


One Response to “Positioning One’s Self to the Best Advantage”

  1. Breeza said

    I used to have to sleep with three pillows in a certain way or I couldn’t fall asleep. Since I got a car accident, I have to sleep with a memory foam pillow. Took me a while to get used to the new position. So I feel ya!

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